Jesus?

Let me tell ya...it has been really hard this passed week. First of all, sorry for not posting like I said that I would. I have been so frustrated and overwhelmed! I dont recall having a good day this week at all. Yes,there are things that I am thankful for this week, please don't get me wrong. Chris and I had some wonderful conversations,laughed,cried and snuggled. For that,I am ALWAYS thankful. I also trimmed Scooter,and he has looked so cute, that everytime I look at him I smile.

Not a lot has really happened this passed week. I have woke up and fought everyday to pull through this monster of a season. I have cried and been angry for the most part. I admit to not being as faithful as I have been, or should be when it comes to my quiet times. I always spend time talking to the Lord throughout every day,but I have not sat down in the mornings and really dug into the Word. I feel ashamed! I am thankful that the Lord is promting my heart though! He knows the state that I am in, and when I just lay there and be quiet,He is faithful to sit there with me and comfort me with His presence.

I went to the docotor yesterday because I needed to let him know that my medicine isn't working! I was prescribed Celexa 20mg daily for depression and panic disorder. It certainly helped with the depression but I am still batteling like crazy with the panic. This is after almost 9 weeks on the medicine! In a very brief office visit,he placed me on a higher dose of the same medicine. I am now taking double what I was. I told him that I have been fighting insomnia from the 20mg and he said that a higher dose should take care of that. I was infomed that almost always,an upage in dose is necessary for the medicine to treat the panic. I am relieved to hear success stories from people that agree with that. I cried my face off when I started my 9th week of being on the medicine and not being able to go to work. I couldnt believe that it wasnt working! I was wanting to be back at work the first of March. Apparently, the Lord has other plans for me! So,I took my first new dose last night. I woke up hanging over the toilet. I couldnt focus and the room was spinning so fast. I went back to bed! I am feeling a little bit better,but I am still not feeling good. The pharmasits told me to take 30 for a couple of weeks first before going up to the 40. I am glad that I listened to her, and not the doctor! The 40 would have been horrid! I am frustrated with side affects returning with a vengance,but the Lord is STILL faithful!

I am tusting Him to supply our needs in this bleek time. I could let it overwhelm me, but I refuse! I really want to throw a fit and cry like a big baby, but I wont. Well, maybe a little. :)